Alas, my boss, whom I love a bunch
has put me in a rock and a hard place crunch
by pressuring me to help carry the weight
and stop acting like life is a daily luncheon date.

So here I am, his loyal Shih Tzu
acting as his shill in front of you
to create some excitement about his books
but to tell you the truth, I'm more concerned about my looks.

So, what do you say,
that you resort to the
eenie meenie minee moe
way, so I can get back
to my groomer today,
and look pretty for my luncheon soufflé.

Oh, and by the way, I'll pressure Spit
to give all the proceeds to the SPCA.


One too many I drank

Got only myself to thank
Kicked up one paw
way up to my jaw,
and ended up splat flat--
just like that

Had surgery on my back
and now one disc I lack.
I hope I heal soon,
so I can resume my duties as mascot
at Spit Toon's Saloon.

"Whaddya mean I'm too good to be true? I mean, you did pick me as the trophy mascot of the saloon."

"After all, who knows their Spit and Shi Tzu, more than I do?"

"And who worries about you more than I do?

"I keep an eye on you while I sleep."

"I let you mess up my hair." 

"I open your wine bottles."

"And when the wine you serve isn't that great, I don't make a peep."

"I wait for you however long it takes." 

"And hey, I've always got your back. What do you say to that?"

"So, I just thought you should know."